The fact that my body is now over 40 years old is not something to be ashamed of, not something to hide or fix but it is a wonderful palace that I live in. To me,
'My body is my home in this lifetime and I plan on enjoying it.'
And so should you!
Having been around the block in regards to body confidence and finally made my peace I am truly looking forward to the next 40 or 50 ;) year because it will not be filled with shame, self doubt or worry about what anyone else thinks about me or my body. It is none of their business, right?! And once you get that, you are free, free from judgements!!
1. What is body confidence to me?
To me, being body confident means something totally different to me now than even a few years ago (when the mind-shift hits, it does hit hard ;) In a right sense, of course). Body confidence to me was always about looking your best so people would think the best of you. It was about trying to be a certain weight. Because being a teenager in the 90’s was all about being thin and thin meant being happy! LOL really!!! Traumatised kids all the way, you know it I'm sure.
2. What about now?
Body confidence now is about having an amazing connection with myself. I must be who I am regardless of how I look and regardless of what I weigh. Body confidence is about the relationship I have with myself and my body (to me, it is all about being healthy inside-out, having a positive self image, being mentally healthy, spiritually open to new things, etc.). And most importantly, it has nothing to do with anyone else and I have stopped looking to outside sources for my validation and happiness. Trully, this is the key!! And yes I still love to wear my beautiful clothes (sexy, sporty, baggy, jeans,...who cares - as long as I feel good about it, I will wear them for me to make me happy and full. Full of confidence and freedom that comes with it.
3. I can hear you asking how I got to this place of body confidence, right?
Well, the answer is self acceptance and kindness. Perhaps love - in all dimensions! But first, start being kind to myself and accepting myself fully (with all the flaws too).
4. And my advise that I can give you? Read the below
- Always try to focus on your positive qualities
- Say kind and positive words to yourself, daily
- Avoid negative self talk (stop body-shaming yourself for no reason)
- Set positive healthy habits, goals and respect what your body can do.
- Admire the beauty of others but never compare yourself to them
- Remind yourself that the social media images we see are often unrealistic and unattainable (to me, 99% fake).
Trust me, once I started to 'practising' these things, they quickly became automatic. Becoming body confidence is a change of mindset but it is something you have to work on daily.
Putting in the work on yourself will lead to united rewards for you and the people around you. And you do deserve to live a fabulous life, ok? We all do!
Today is the day, you should start working on your self acceptance and kindness. Do not waste your time anymore. You are worth it.
5. Our bodies change every day
My body, your body, our bodies change every day - without exception! None of us have the body we had years ago. Aging is part of life and it happens to us all no matter what expensive face cream we use (I do not anyways). In order to start being confident at any age we have to accept where we are right now. Looking back and longing for the body we had in our 20’s is no good to us because we’ll never have that back (In fact,I look and feel way much better now, than ever before). Why? Because I understand my body's needs, I understand what self-love is and I appreciate the body I have. I no longer take all that for granted! No. Beside, if we constantly measure ourselves against something in the past we are setting ourselves up for failure. Do you hear me? Failure! Comparison is the thief of joy as the saying goes so whether you are comparing yourself to others or to your younger self it is not serving you . By doing this you will be chasing happiness that could be yours right now at this moment .
6. My tips for being confident in your 40's and beyond
TIP #1
Write down all of your achievements – having done this myself I am blown away by how much I have achieved. You will be surprised when you start to really think how much stuff you have forgotten. No doubt!
TIP #2
Develop and open mindset! When you have an open mindset you can start to learn new things and have new adventures ;). Life is for learning and you are never too old to learn. And of course 'never stop learning because life never stops teaching.'
TIP #3
Update your image. Change up your look , change your hair or update your wardrobe this can give you an instant confidence boost.
TIP #4
Move your body. Our bodies love to move and find out how yours likes to move – is it dancing, pilates, yoga, or walking. Whatever it prefers, just keep moving. I certainly found new love - and that is lifting weights ;).
TIP #5
Keep up the positive self talk, don’t join in when your friends start talking badly about their bodies. Simply steer the conversation to a more positive area. Stay with the positive always!
TIP #6
Self care all the way! Looking after your well being inside and out will always help you feel confident and your body will thank you for it. Put yourself on top of the list. Every day!
TIP #7
Set some boundaries. This is also a form of self care. Get away from people who are draining your energy or making you feel bad. Think about the consequence of saying yes all the time.
And last but not least, having true body confidence comes from being our authentic self. When we are living as our true self everything starts to fall into place. It all starts with love and kindness towards you and your body.
And remember, you only have one body in this lifetime and it’s your home, therefore start loving and respecting it!!
Until next time, S.
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