To me - this was one of the hardest things I needed to learn!!
- 'Love yourself' they say. '
- Be you'.
Well, that for sure is a great advice, but how? Is there some sort of fine print with instructions that we are missing? How do you embrace who you are? Embracing yourself ( and I mean all of yourself, not just a 'facade') is not just a switch you can turn on and off. If it were that easy, we would not be discussing all of that. Although there will never be a universal set of fine print instructions for how to embrace yourself, I hope that mine will be a starting point for you in learning to love your amazing, unique, brave self. Not just the way you look! Love, at frist come from the inside.
1. Work on it, every day
The most important thing to realise is that embracing yourself will not happen magically overnight. It will not be automatic, and it will not be easy (whoever said that to you, was not honest with you either). Learning to embrace yourself is going to be a work in progress and that is totally ok (you have to understand that). Loving yourself, excepting who you are is a marathon not a quick sprint. Just know that every time you make a conscious choice to stay true to yourself, you are closer to your end goal than you were one day ago. Remember it!
2. Choose environment that will help you grow
Surround yourself with people who are willing to work with you, who will give you the opportunity to grow into yourself, and who will never judge you along the way. Although it is ultimately up to you to choose and accept yourself, it does not hurt to have people around you who are also willing to choose and accept you. They will be there to support you as you grow and will not expect you to be the same person they met years ago. They will acknowledge that there is more than one version of you. And that person is usually only one! Choose wisely - even if that means getting away from toxic environment, people, even family and friends. Takes time to realise that, but once you do it - you sure awake the 'phoenix' inside you!
3. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have done in the past
As you grow, it is so important to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made not only with others, but with yourself as well. Be kind and practice self-compassion. In the process of growing and embracing yourself, you are inevitably going to make mistakes. And you know what, that is ok too. Since we are all in the spirit of embracing things, let's just embrace those too. Learning from mistakes is the only way to grow. Only one of them!
4. Detach your value from the values of others
We have heard it a million times that it does not matter what anyone else thinks. Then why does it still feel like it does? Because it is going to take a lot of time and a constant effort to reverse the habits we have lived with for many many years. It is ok to hear the opinions of others, but the important thing to realise is that their negative opinions do not diminish your value.
Now slow down for a second. Pause. And repeat after me;
'my value does not depend on what others think of me' breathe ... and repeat that again
'my value does not depend on what others think of me' breathe ... and repeat that again
'my value does not depend on what others think of me'
Repeat that as many times as you need - to copy and save that into your mind! You are worth it.
5. Get to know who you truly are
Part of embracing who you are is knowing who you are. If you do not even know who you are, how are you supposed to embrace and stand up for that person? If you are unsure of your identity right now, do not worry. Simply be open to trying new things so you can figure out what makes you You. It will take work and introspection to know yourself, but that’s ok too. As long as you accept the journey of 'knowing and getting to know' yourself better. Listen to yourself, get to know your body movements, accept body changes and learn what yourself is trying to tell you. It is not a rocket science, but if you do not response to your body's talking, you will never get the best out of your body either.
6. Do not be bother to try to 'fit in'
It is very hard when all we have been taught is to fit into a box, a mold, and a certain way of being. Growing up, all we wanted to do was fit in. The thing we probably did not realise was that, by being different, we were already similar. Our differences make us unique and interesting, but they are also what make us similar. We are all different. And that is the best thing. How boring would the world be if everyone was a carbon copy of one another? Aaah, no no!
7. Be the best version of yourself, daily
It is hard to be yourself in a world that’s constantly trying to tell you to be someone else. We get it. Just know that you are doing your best and that that is enough. Despite what people may tell you, you do not have to be perfect. Remember that. Your best is and will always be enough. Juyst never give up on yourself. You are amazing!
Whatever you do, make sure you give your best. Never regret things later. Accept situations. Adapt to changes. But mostly - start loving yourself the way you are. And remember, every day is a new opportunity to grow, to learn and appreciate your life and life around you.
Until next time, S.
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