Let me simply start with this - living a worthwhile life is something most of us aspire to, but we rarely act on it beyond setting some New Year’s resolutions, which are usually just sad memories by (already yes) end of January! But there sure are ways to live a life you can be proud of, especially when you hit the '40's zone' ;). I am not going to tell you how to live a meaningful life, because I am still figuring that part out myself. But I can suggest making a sweeping change that will and can help you do a lot less of what’s currently holding you back. Been there - done that, still doing and still figuring out. But that's ok too.
'Stop hiding from bullshit'
Let me explain the 'bullshit' to you. So, bullshit is anything that distracts you from what really matters. Yes, you heard that well! It is all the excuses, lies, self-deception, lethargy, self-invented obstacles, other people who want to take advantage of your time, money or kindness, and everything else that diverts your energy. Now pause, think, read that again, remember it and then keep on reading! Let’s say you are dying (and you are. Every day!) When you reach the end, will you be proud of all the time you spent not getting things done, not living up to your own expectations, and not achieving your goals? Goals? Hear me? Actually, if you just enjoy living for the sake of living, you may not care either way. Goals might not be your thing. But if you are the kind of person who sets them, you are probably the kind of person who wants to achieve them, right?
So please, let's not be a 'drama queen/king' and instead create meaningful life and find that purpose of own life! When I say this, I mean,
1. Get rid of lies
I mean it, this is as it is. And I am sure you know what that means!
2. Sort out payment deadlines
Sometimes I am still working on this one myself, but trust me, paying cash, on time, is a great feeling that negates an endless spiral of loose ends that comes from paying on credit (or not being able to pay at all).
3. Avoid arguments immediately and make sure they are all sorted
- Do not drag it out
- Do not avoid it
- Do not sleep on it
- Do not hope it goes away.
Grab it head-on, state your case, give them the chance to state theirs, and then decide if your opinion has changed. Either way, you win because you do not lose time worrying about what other people think, or trying to prove your point. If someone else will not let an argument drop, walk away. No single argument is worth losing a relationship over, but every argument is worth walking away from when it is clear there is no end in sight.
4. Confront people and situations or ignore it
It is as simple as that yes! People will talk shit about you. Complications will arise. In the immortal words of someone, “there’s always something.” If you know your priorities you will know which wrinkles need to be ironed out and which ones you do not need to care about. Stick to those priorities, otherwise, you will lose sleep over things that matter to absolutely no one. Ok?
5. Let people know your priorities — especially you
When no one knows what you want, every request for your time and attention seems reasonable. When everyone knows what you stand for and what you want, they have to consciously decide whether they want to help you or get in your way. And when you know what you need, you can decide according to your own internal hierarchy of needs. Otherwise, you are just guessing.
6. Ignore suckers and downers
The world is filled with people who want something from you. Advice, help, a shoulder to cry on, external validation, a person who will not turn them away. Again, refer to your priorities. 'cleaning up someone else’s mess' is almost never going to be your top priority. And in fact, if it is, you are probably someone who expects someone else to clean up your mess. And that (trust me) is not a recipe for dying with a lot of crossed-off 'to-do's' on your bucket list. That is a recipe for an early grave that’s been dug by other people’s bullshit because you can not establish boundaries. Let me put it this way - life is short, so have one, and stop coddling all the people who are hiding from theirs. Copy this, do you hear me?!
7. Spend time alone
If you want to live a life without bullshit, you are going to piss off a lot of people because a lot of people are afraid to live their lives without bullshit ;) Some of them are not even ready to give up their own lies, self-deceptions and other corrosive behavior, and they will resent being forced to make their own self-evaluations when your priorities conflict with theirs. They will think you are being a bad friend, person when you do not waver from your own compass and allow them to unload their bullshit on you, Just remember that!
8. Set your own rules
But treat everyone the same from a start and they decides who is worth enough fro your to be around! Exceptions make rules meaningless!!
Simply remember - your time is worth. You worth. You decide. In fact - I am sure you have better things to do. Yes, you. I am talking to you! Again, you do have better things to do, trust me. Do not forget that!
Until next time, S.
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