1. Get to know your body
To love your body, you must first know your body.
"The body is the physical expression of emotions, and this has nothing to do with how it looks or how old it is & once you are familiar with your body's language (not body language), you are better able to know what it's trying to tell you. Slowing down to hear your body's messages is how you develop compassion—which is a type of love."
There are so many ways to get to know your body. You might consider trying a form of exercise or movement that requires a lot of control of the body (such as weightlifting, yoga or pilates). Yes - I practise these and it really does show benefits on all levels :)
Also, one particularly powerful way of getting embodied is through doing a mindfulness exercise called a 'body scan'. Breathe slowly in and out, close your eyes, and then focus your attention totally on the top of your head. What sensations are you feeling up there? Any tension? Tingles? Pain? After a few moments, move down to your face and do the same. Then to your neck. Then to your shoulders. Then your chest. And so on and so forth all the way down to your feet. Notice how it feels...hard, soft, cold, warm, damp, sticky, etc. What parts of your body is it connecting with? What are your feet doing right now? What about the inside of your cheek? This is how you tune into your body." etc. You'd be surprised how much getting to know your body better can make it so much easier to love.
2. Do something that makes your body feel good every day
Make it a habit to do something good for your body every day. Maybe that's setting aside a few minutes to just give yourself a hand/head massage. Maybe it's putting on your softest, fuzziest pair of socks to wear around the house. Maybe it's doing a refreshing face mask or putting on a full face of makeup for no reason other than it makes you feel good. This is all about training your brain to associate your body with positive feelings. Make it a habit to shower your body with love, and it'll start to feel natural and instinctual over time.
3. Feed your senses
"Any time that I am feeling some type of way about my body, I'm usually disconnected from it and I'm usually disconnected from the pleasurable experience of having a body—of being able to taste delicious things, to see beautiful sights, to hear things."
Our bodies are primed for pleasure. The whole purpose of us having a body is for us to feel good. Feed your senses & really start to engage with them. That will again create 'lost' body connection, and that body connection helps disintegrate the body hate (bad image perception about yourself).
4. Do new things with your body
When you challenge your body to do something new, something outside of your comfort zone, you get to see your body in a new light and you get to appreciate what the body is capable of - YES, you should try it! Try different types of exercise, dancing, exploring intuitive eating, or trying a boudoir photo shoot. (this one is far my favourite ;) ).
5. Try intentional, sensual dancing.
Dancing (intentionally), by yourself can be a powerful way to reconnect with your body. There's something about just letting our bodies move the way our bodies want to move, without judgment, without trying to do any choreography. It just feels really, really good :) Just dance, dance, dance away ...
6. Practice gratitude for your body
It's does really help to think about what our bodies do for us on a daily basis. Our bodies carry us through our days with so much strength and grace. Our bodies are also capable of infinite amounts of pleasure. If we can be grateful for all the things our bodies do for us, that can help us see them in a different light. Think!
7. Make exercise about feeling good
So, when it comes to exercise, I love to have people frame it as moving your body in a way that makes you happy (always, if not - then learn how to start enjoying it). Like, exercise in a way that brings you joy, that just thinking about it lifts you of the sofa.
"Make it a way to celebrate you body, not beat it down until it's into a shape that pleases you!"
Exercise is a natural way to increase energy, reduce stress, and keep our bodies healthy. But
when we look at exercise as a weight loss or body-shaping tool, we turn something that's nourishing into something that's hurtful and even hateful toward our body. Exercise as a way to love your body—not as a way to change or fight it.
8. Dress your body affectionately
Dress your body like it's a piece of artwork. Be intentional, attentive, and expressive. Buy clothes that make you feel good and make your body feel good. When we dress our body intentionally, we're treating it as something that's worthy of attention and love. We send the message to others and to ourselves. Show the World that this is a body that is loved. Loved! Got it? ;)
9. Fight 'fatphobia'
If that's you, let me tell you something.
"It's time to start getting over your fear of fatness."
Learning to love your body will not happen overnight. Small daily rituals are key to moving forward on this journey and slowly training your mind over time to stop being so critical of your body. One excellent habit is a positive affirmation practice done in front of a mirror: Take a moment each morning to look at your full body and say something kind about it. You might also want to pinpoint the parts of your body that you don't like to focus your positive affirmations on. For example, if you hate your thighs, you might try reciting to yourself: I love my thick thighs, or My thighs are strong and sensual. Now, go and practise it daily!
Also go and find a few things that you like about yourself. Maybe you have nice hands, or ankles, or pretty eyes, great shoulders, or amazing hair. Everyone got something, something special, remember this.
10. Try taking sensual self-portraiture - selfie
Take sensual selfies, not only of your face but of your body too. Do this for the purpose of connecting to your body, of seeing your body, your radiance, your softness with your own eyes. The intention behind it is key:
"I'm going to take this photo to just connect with my body, to see myself with my own eyes, and to begin to process the feelings that come up for me when I look at myself. ... I'm going to rewrite these scripts inside of my head that say that I'm not enough. I'm going to use these photos as proof that I am enough, that it is possible for me to be connected."
11. If body positivity isn't working for you, go for body neutrality
If jumping straight to the positive thoughts feels inauthentic to you, that's OK. Start with "neutral thoughts" about your body. For example "If your thought is 'my stomach is disgusting,' it's not believable to tell yourself your stomach is beautiful yet. But you can practice the thought: 'This is a human stomach' every time you look at it or whenever your brain starts complaining about it,"
The more you practice these kinds of neutral thought swaps, the easier they get—eventually they will become your default natural thoughts."
12. Work with a professional in that 'missing' field of yours
Listen, learning to love your body when you hate your body at the moment is not easy. Even when you understand why you should love your body rationally, getting there spiritually can sometimes take guidance. Don't be afraid to reach out to a therapist or coach who can support you on this journey, give you tailored advice, and catch you when you fall.
13. Remember that your body is a piece of nature
Keep reminding yourself that your body is a gorgeous miracle, the biggest piece of nature and the most beautiful art you posses.
With love,
Until next time, S.
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