If I am quite frankly honest, life after 40 got me thinking, big time.
Our society might all be obsessed with that fountain of youth, but to be honest, I’ll be kicking and screaming if you drag me back into my twenties. I’m grateful to be where I am, right here, right now! My younger years was a whirlwind of insecurity, competition, stress, feeling so conflicted from the judgment of people, family and striving that impossible amount of perfection. And my teens, forget my drama teen queen moments! It sure was a storm in my head, in all sort of directions.
1. Turning 40 just like that
Turning 40 sure gave me accelerated happiness, a level of relaxation, gratitude and confidence that I earned through life (honestly, tough life, not all just butterflies and unicorns). However, being in this generation also blessed us with a great quality of life, access to wellness products that boost our health and wellness, tools that can help us be happy and grateful, and more relaxed rules in society. I remember my parents behaving very grown up when I was a teen. May I add too, that the 80’s hair and fashion is sure to add twenty years to your looks, haha! Kidding aside, my midlife story is very different from theirs. In my forties, I can still manage to behave like a kid without ever being judged by people and if you have that little something just like me, then you understand!
In my opinion, life after 40 is and can be the best time of your life, why? I'll explain you why.
2. I know (by now) how to embrace imperfection
Let me start this by saying I no longer worry about my pearly whites as much as I have in my 20’s. I’d say that’s partly because I have not been opening the pages of my Vogue Magazines as often I used to ;). But the truth is, when you are not influenced by other people’s concept of beauty, once you’ve had enough experience in order to create your own metric of happiness and full of gratitude for the good things that you have, you start listening to your own voice. Hear me? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t walk around with flies hovering over me, surely not, but as I age, life makes me pay less attention to physical or superficial things. In my midlife, I can be happy and sleep at night knowing that my thighs won’t be a conversation piece in the next brunch with the ladies. But if becomes front page, I just own it anyway instead of living in denial, then I admire how my thighs can still do jump turns in my hip hop classes!
3. Focus on achieving genuine happiness
I now focus on delving deeper on achieving genuine happiness, practicing gratitude and on feeling lasting peace with ourselves. My forties made me befriend myself. And age made me realise that I have been my worst critic and that I should relax the rules. With turning 40, I find myself reaching out for self-care over than just pure vanity. That is a good thing. In fact, the best thing that happened to me.
4. More time for taking care of myself
And I am not talking just the 'beauty' treatments, sure not. Taking time to me, is all about overall happiness and genuine quality time I dedicate to myself. I prioritise happiness, I honor myself more and I know that I am more than just my list of things I have to do in the day.
I am very proud and grateful for my blessed early, but I surely don’t want to go there again.
Also, this next chapter gets us excited about our reinventions. To start seriously doing things that excited me in my younger, busier years. I call it 'buried hobbies' ;). I reburied them somehow and found out that bring me so much pleasure, happiness and joy. And I'll keep searching for more. Because I am at peace when I do so.
5. I became more assertive and brave
Through my teens, 20’s and 30’s, I’ve experienced being overlooked, maybe even ganged up by some people, had my heart broken, and I grew and learned from it. I know (for sure) what works for me and what doesn't. Hopefully, through life experiences, I am now better at stepping forward and claiming what is mine. I can look a malicious enemy in the eye and tell them to leave me 'f' alone. I have more gumption to chase things I want and I also have more capacity to walk away from people’s judgment. By now, I know that I shouldn’t be afraid to speak up.
Turning 40 helped me find my inner warrior goddess, and let her fight my battles ;) By now, I have realised that there are no bogeymen hiding behind my bed, and it’s safe to live in the world if I just fight for what’s mine. And that is such a comfort to me. So go ahead, do your thing!
6. Couldn't care less for other people's judgment
To me, It’s all about letting go. Contentment is being able to accept both your happiness and your lack of it. Having said this, I can silence the critics with the knowledge that they are no more powerful or more knowing than me. That I am here, seeking.
Turning 40 make me ask the deeper questions about my connection with the universe. Advise?Well, just go ahead, ask as many questions. Don’t pay too much attention to gossip or criticisms. You have bigger things to do than please other people. I realised I am worth it. So should you!
7. Resilient is the language I speak
The adage 'what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger' can’t be more true after you reach your 40's, years of heartbreaks, tragedies, and occasional turmoils. Right?! I am now better at handling crisis and at reacting to life when it throws a book at me. I now realise that all the anxieties I had about my rubbish never mattered much. I am also better at peeling away into my worries. Let me tell you, I was a natural worry wart. Striving for imperfection has been my pursuit for the first phase of my life. If there was something to worry about, I’ll find it. I’d always retreat back into my worry corner in my belief that worry is my psyche’s secret alarm of my invisible life checklist (oooh). However, now I am at a point of reaching more comfort compared to my chaotic 20’s and 30’s, and if I ever hit a very big slump, the past challenges has given me more resilience and problem-solving ways that give me a better road map in order to get out of bad situations.
8. I prioritise ruthlessly
My concept of productivity has changed so much over the years.
In my teens, not completing a task was my definition of failure, a half-baked attempt on success. But in my forties, I’ve honed this strategy about breaking down my routines where I finish with top marks. And I tend to master this by each new day. And this sure is one of the most valuable gifts that I received in my midlife ;).
By saying all this above, I know I count, I matter. In fact we all count and matter. A lot.
And my age will not stop me from catching up with the times. I will master my life. Fully.
But more to the point, I know how to be grateful for what I have and (I believe) most of us have it.
Live the life you want.
Do not waste another day to pass by.
And remember, life is too short to be indecisive or let thing not happening, right? So hold your head up high and know that you are worth. You count.
Until next time, S.
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