But first, a reminder to all 'mind your own business'! Will you?
Just stay in your own lane, so to speak. Ok?! And focus on what you can control and letting go of what you can’t. Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions, and letting other people take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions. End. Period.
1. Stop controlling the world, let people be
However, so often we try to control other people (i know that because I've been there myself) control the world around us, and basically control everything and everyone but ourselves. But that is completely out of control. If only we start to understand that and work on it, daily. It's not easy to overcome this, but once you create your 'better self' things can change. Ironically, the only thing we can control is ourselves. And even then, it’s imperfect control.
2. People too often think they can say whatever comes out of their mouth.
Really? Who are you here to judge? And those people in fact are the ones that do not get the whole point of understanding themselves nor other. Simple as that.And not minding our own business then comes along with;
- Judging
- Criticising
- Reacting to circumstances and others instead of being conscious
- Seeing others as separate from us (separation vs oneness is also a core tenet of conscious living.)
- Trying to solve other people’s problems for them
- Attempting to 'fix' others
- Refusing to accept others as they are
- Not taking responsibility for your own thoughts and actions
- Blaming others for your thoughts and feelings
- Believing every thought that pops into our heads
- And these are just a few ways that we don’t mind our own business or try to take on someone else’s business. The list goes on and on.
3. Let's clear thing up
- Your thoughts and actions = your business
- Other people’s thoughts and actions = their business (sure not your business)!
- External circumstances (weather, external events, etc.) = not your business either!
4. Once and for only 'stay out of other people's business' work on yourself only
This does not mean that you accept or enable other people’s destructive behaviour without doing or saying anything. It doesn’t mean that you neglect to set boundaries for yourself or that you don’t ask your alcoholic brother to attend AA meetings or discipline your teenaged child when they break the rules. It does mean that you accept who people are. When we refuse to accept others as they are, we say “I don’t want to know you, I want you to be who I want you to be.”
We can accept that some people are high strung, they talk loudly, are sometimes late, they like things we think are boring, believe things we don’t believe in, or do things we don’t agree with. We can accept that as reality and love them anyway.
5. Leave judging behind and start to listen (or just pass by). You've got a choice
Human experience is universal. We’re all in this together, and judgment only prevents us from connecting. Can't get easier than that. End.
6. Take responsibility for you and you only
This one is sure a big one. And until you don't understand it, you'll keep judging. Because you're empty inside!! Simple. So, taking responsibility for you means knowing that no one makes you do or feel anything. It’s not letting someone else have authority over you. You always have a choice. Again, minding your own business is choosing not to be the victim and completely taking ownership of your decisions. You should always act inside of your integrity, treat other people fairly and never show characteristics of narcissistic (this in fact is a big one in society, but let's dig into this some other time). After all, we live in a society where there are certain agreements we make with each other to help things run smoothly. In the end, you are free to break those social expectations and behave however you want because you have free will. You’re just not free from the consequences of those decisions. And that is something you have to understand!!
7. Start practicing 'self awareness'
Again, minding your own business is observing what’s going on inside of you. It’s being self-observant. It may be helpful to think of ourselves as two 'selves', that part of us that thinks, and that part of us that can observe the part that thinks. Copy this. We (without a doubt) can observe ourselves, our activity, and our state of mind. So, overall minding your own business means being the 'self observer.' Observe and accept the fact that you’re thinking differently. If you understand this, you will be able to move on and become more pleasant for the environment and other people around. We all are unique, with own qualities, so stop judging. Let people be.
I know by now (for fact) that minding our own business does not come naturally. This sure is a practice, like everything else in conscious living. If you don's practise, you can't understand it. Simple as that!
My advise I can give you is to practice observing yourself and noticing when you’re not minding your own business, and practice bringing your attention back to your own lane. As you do this more and more, you will find it easier and more automatic.
Beside, As you do this more, you will take more ownership of your own life, thoughts, and decisions, and grow in acceptance of the humanity in all of us.
Work on yourself, on your emotional and physical condition as they go hand in hand and the strong body you might have will not show if your mind is fucked!! Yes.
Be better version of yourself. Just don't be 'ass.'
Until next time, S.
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