For most of my 20's and 30's, I thought of happiness as the prize at the bottom of a 'crackerjack box'. You would not bother with the journey unless something special awaited you at the end. And then once you reached it, the joy would be fleeting, right? Is it really? Think, happiness is not a prize at the bottom of a 'crackerjack box', cresting and crashing at each destination. right? To me, it is rather a snack to enjoy on the ride, no matter what awaits you at the end. And with that realisation I got to my important mindset shifts, yes in my 40's! (at least ...). Let's have a look what mindset shifts I am talking about;
1. Stop trying to create a false image of yourself
Project a real image of yourself. Avoid fakes (like majority of social media these days!!). If ever, the clarity of this will come in your 40's and then you will 'learn the truth'. Remember, your image is not a fiction you create and present to the world. It is and will be a story others create about you!! Simple as that. People around you form that story based on how you live your life, how you treat others, what you believe in, the work you do, the passions you pursue, the help you give, and the actions you take. Beside, you will feel much more at ease being yourself than trying to fit into a 'persona' you think others will admire. A big no no!! For once and always - be yourself!
2. Approval from others will never come
The sooner you realise that, the better! The desire for approval cloaks itself in many forms.
How many wannabe writers, entrepreneurs, and artists ride the benches waiting for someone to say it’s okay to play? Remember, do never wait for someone’s approval. Declare you are going to do it and make it happen. Give yourself permission. It will liberate you. OK? ;)
3. Stop obsessing over what others think of you.
This is a total non-sense!! I still care how others view me, but I no longer let the fear of judgment stop me from doing things that bring me joy. It was my greatest challenge, and I conquered it one step at a time over many years. Beside, it is natural to avoid people who dislike or disagree with you, but (at the end of the day) they are your best teachers. Every toxic 'mudballs' (and yes, it can sure be your close family too) they hurl thickens your shield. It is important to learn to dialogue with those who challenge you and thank those who merely hate. A simple thank you followed by complete disdain silences the 'judgy' types without compromising your integrity. It is the most empowering response to the vitriol of others. Trust me, a point will come where you tame the beast of rejection, judgment, and criticism. There is no easy way to get there. There is a threshold you must pass, and once you cross it, you are free.
4. Get rid of the idea of conditional happiness
When you get that promotion, partner of your dreams, or material possession, you experience a burst of euphoria. I once thought everything in between those moments was filler, the price we pay to experience flashes of bliss. But really? If you can not find happiness during the pursuit, you will not experience it at the finish, period!! Find joy in the journey, and if it eludes you, reassess your mission. You might be on the wrong path. End of story!
5. Resist the obsession with status
Yes. Awareness is your best defence against the foolhardy pursuit of status. Be mindful of its influence when you make decisions. End! Who cares?
6. Attack your work like it is your legacy, hear me?
This, to me (lately) is one of the most important mindset shift! Instead of creating something for the sake of money, I started to approach my craft from a different perspective. I love what I do and it makes me complete!!!
Life is short. No matter what we do, the happiness you find within your heart counts. Do not miss a chance, do not fight over material 'shit' and never try to 'fit in' when your whole body and should is meant to 'stand out'. Be yourself.
Until next time, S.
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